Ever wonder?

Ever wonder what it would be like if you were never here?
Never here to feel pain,
Never here to feel sad,
Never here to be hated,
Ridiculed,
Or lonely?
Ever wonder what other people's lives would be like without you?
If they never met you,
Never talked to you,
Never even said your name?
You were never there to mess stuff up,
Or make them mad,
Or make them wish you were never here to bother them?
Me too.
A lot.
But the thing is,
Sometimes we forget that,
Even though, yeah, we can all be aggravating,
Irritating,
&weird...
We can also be loving,
&caring
&sometimes the only one somebody has to lean on.
I know,
I never wanna admit it either...
But I know that I'm important.
Why else would I be here anyways?
Why else would I have struggled through what I've been though,
Lost all I thought I had,
Cried all those tears I cried....
Been to hell and back,
For nothing?
HELL no.
All of this isn't for nothing,
You're important to someone,
You're all they have,
You're their life,
You're beautiful.
Now admit it.
Smile.
Somebody loves you.
Just like I know someone loves me.
Xoxo
Ladybug <3

Sometimes.

Sometimes you wonder what could have been,
sometimes you don't want to know.
Sometimes you wish for that warm sunny day,
others you just pray for snow.

You see, I never know what to think,
when my brain is all frazzled.
I know that you're not anything I thought you are,
but my heart? It stays dazzled.

You're nothing you used to be,
was any of it true?
No wait I don't even care!
Baby come back; I love you too!

NO HOLD ON, it's too late!
The damage is done!
You broke my heart,
words like bullets from a gun.

Call me Seuss,
call me swine,
but I don't care,
my feelings must rhyme.

How else do I say it?
What other ways are there to describe...
All of this pain that I'm feeling...
I feel like it's never going away... no matter how much I'm bribed.

I don't care who reads this,
I don't even care if it's you,
I just hope they all know...
all I ever wanted from you was an honest "I love you too."

Sweet Child O Mine.

Sweet Child O Mine, Guns N Roses

Guys, I can not even describe to you how much this song makes me smile. No, not necessarily because it's so cool to hear such a sweet song from Guns N Roses of all places, but because of my dad. It's one of his favorite songs. When I was little, he used to blast it (in the car, when he was cooking in the kitchen, etc.) and just belt out every word. He didn't sound half bad, but it made me laugh. I wasn't used to seeing my gruffy dad be so happy and reactive to music. He would grab me and dance with me and sing it to me, and although my eyes are not blue and hair not red, it made me feel special. My father and I are not very close. Not at all really, and it's more because of a personality clash than anything. But when I was little, I was his little girl; and I loved every second of it. This song makes me think of that. I think of how happy I was with him holding me, and how safe I felt. I always feel so safe when I'm around my dad. I really can't explain it or why it's him I feel like that around (he's about the same height as I am and I doubt he weighs much over 150), but he just has that effect on me and always has. I know those moments couldn't last forever, but the memories can and will. No matter how bad it gets with my dad, I will always remember what amazing times I had with him and how much he loves and cares about me. He'd do anything for me, even though I know he doesn't understand me one bit. There's that question that everyone gets asked a million times; If you could travel back in time once, where would you go? Some people say to see dinosaurs, Thomas Edison, Roaring 20's, the 50's, 80's... I would go back about ten or eleven years so I could dance on my dad's feet again in my favorite black and white dress.

I know you'll never read this, but I love you Daddy. I hope, when I'm older and moved out, that our relationship gets better. And I hope that I can always be your little girl, even though I know sometimes I'm not exactly your favorite. 

'Till next time,

Ladybug♥

P.S. "Whip It" is his second favorite. ;)

What You're All Craving (WoW)

:) I love that Write on Wednesday's acronym Wow perfectly describes it. I'm so happy I found you guys! This whole thing is exactly what I've been looking for. I just wish you all would comment more. The stats say that people from inkpaperpen are visiting, but not a lot leave feedback :(
&To my friends and fam- I will be doing more than just these prompts. Just a lot of stuff has been going on &I don't really want to write about it. I'll do other stories and stuff soon. xx
ANYWHO (and there's swearing in this one, sorry. The story needs it.);

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 9 - Think with Character. Choose a character from your writing posts. You can still do this exercise if you are new to WoW - select a character from another piece of your writing or simply work through the exercise from scratch.   Now, think about the character in regards to their: gender, age, occupation, physical appearance and mood at this moment. Is your character in the city, the country, inside or outside? Do they live in rich or poor surroundings? Alone or with others? Answer all, some or one of these questions. Now, set your timer for 5 minutes and write the first words about your character that come into your head. Stop when the buzzer rings. This may be one week where you feel you need to throw the timer and take your time. Do whatever works for you. You may also like to consider: Complexion, Style of dress, Hair colour/style, Speaking voice and likely vocabulary, Strengths/Weaknesses, Mannerisms

OR for a different approach

* Look at how your character fits into quotes like the one at the top of my page. For example, what does YOUR character do when nobody's looking?

Callie and Sammy- What, Why, How, When.
"Do you think they're done yet?" Sammy started to peer around the end of the sofa.
"NO STOP!" Callie hissed, yanking back her ignorant brother, "Do you want him to come after you too?"
Crack.
"WHERE THE F*CK ARE THEY."
"Rick, calm down.. They're just sca-"
"SHUT UP BITCH," smack. She fell into her own needles.
A pound at the door.
"POLICE. OPEN UP!"
"Oh but it's so much more fun for you to break in..." Rick opened the door.
"Richard Keller?"
"What's it to you?"
"We have a warrant for your arrest, and orders to remove the children from your home and custody."
A woman stepped up behind him, "Hello there, my name is Carol. I'm from Child Protective Services. Where are the children? Kaylee and Samson?" She was annoyingly happy, and a little too excited for the situation. It was in the middle of the night, so Callie couldn't make out exactly what she looked like, but she could see the smile. And although inappropriate, it was something she had not seen in a long time.
"It's Callie," the little girl stepped out from the couch, clutching her shivering brother. Her matted blonde hair was in a ponytail and her belly hanging out of a shirt at least two sizes too small. Her hazel eyes were blazing with hope, and heart pounding with relief. Maybe this was the end, "And he don't answer to that; call him Sammy."
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Timer went off. This was more of a flashback than description of character, but at least you know how they are where they are now. :)
COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED on all pieces.

It's that time of week again :D

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 8 - The clock winked...Write the words "The clock winked" at the top of your page. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Write the first words that come into your head after the prompt. Stop when the buzzer rings. Do this exercise over and over if you wish. Write beyond 5 minutes if you like, you can link it up as an extra post.

Okay, so this promt goes with Callie and Sammy, so I'll continue :D

 Callie and Sammy's NeverEverLand #2

The clock winked...
Both kids stared in awe.
"Callie..."
"I know,"
In all their years of foster homes they have never, ever been to one with anything like this. And believe me, they'd been to a lot.
"We'll never leave," Callie continued.
"Never ever." 
Callie turned around and backed her way into the tiny hole in the great tree's trunk.
"Callie!"
"I gotta know..." she slipped the rest of herself in and looked around. She felt like she was dreaming. How could a tree have another world under it? It kind of looked like a regular meadow. Tall, smooth grass; little yellow buttercup patches here and there; happy bunnies with their fluffy babies; the whole thing. Except, there was a clock. A huge, very vintage looking, clock. Just standing there. Almost looking down on her as she walked towards it like an angry parent. It had these two big circles on the face, one half filled in, the other empty. That must be why it looked like it was winking. Other than at first glance, this clock did not look like the friendly guy we've all seen on Beauty and the Beast. Callie was sure that if it was alive, it would not be singing "Be Our Guest!" and dancing for her when she entered the meadow.
Rustle
 Sammy appeared behind her.
"Shhh!" she put her flushed index finger up to her mouth. She didn't know why she felt the need to be quiet, but something was telling her this place wasn't as peaceful as it looked from outside the tree.
_________________________________________________________

Time's up. :)
Comments on to continue or not to continue, and overall thoughts are appreciated. :)

'Till next time,
Ladybug♥

Sometimes, you just don't want to write.

About yourself that is. I really enjoy making people up and writing about their lives. I like to sometimes make their lives harder than mine, and make them get through it. I guess to justify myself, put myself in place. If that makes sense. Sometimes, if I think about it hard enough, I actually get upset. These people, sometimes children, that I write about, that I create, in some ways actually exist. Of course not their exact names and situations, but I know they're out there. It's sad to think about how many people really and honestly do not have the option to eat every day, to sleep in their very own bed, in a warm, dry house. And I wish there was more that I could do except buy them stuff for Toys for Tots and stuff... but we don't have a lot of money either so there's not :/
Anyways, I love to write. I can't explain why, and I can't even explain why everything I write is so different. I just write not exactly what I feel, but whatever comes to me. Sometimes I get an idea and just run with it. I write about the people around me, I write about the situations around me, or even the situations around the other people around me. Nothing I write is perfect, or even that fantastic, but it's mine and it's beautiful to me because I did it myself. All of that goes here now. Or at least a lot of it. This blog is not really about me. Yanno, "Woke up around eight, fought with my parents, cried for an hour, went out to dinnfer-" no. It's my emotions and my thoughts. SO as a warning for the future; if you do not agree with me, adios. You don't have to. And do not assume anything I write is towards you, any other individual you know, OR meant to be rude. :)
___________________________________________________________

Short Poem #2

Once Upon a Star
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
I know exactly what you are.
You may sparkle, you may shine,
but inside? You're a lie.
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
you're not even up that far.
You're a satellite, we all know,
just as fake as Hollywood snow.
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
what will grant my wish now?

_____________________________

'Till next time,
Ladybug♥
(comments rock)

Write on... Thursday?

Yeah, I know, I suck. But I'll save the lame excuses and just do it now. :) I'm really excited, this is my first try!

Here's the directions and prompt for this week;

The Write On Wednesday Rules: Feel free to get creative with the writing exercises - there isn't a right or wrong. Please do try to visit the other members of Write On Wednesdays and leave a comment. You can grab the button for Write On Wednesdays from my sidebar.

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 7 - Sit under a tree and write: Find yourself a quiet spot. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Take a look at Kristy's Tree Photo. Write the first words that come into your head. Keep writing whatever comes into your head. Stop when the buzzer rings. Do this exercise over and over if you wish. If like me, you struggle with visual prompts, perhaps try sitting under a tree to write. I have heard that changing your usual writing place can spark new inspiration. Try it and see. Do both if you please!

Sit Under a Tree and Write- Callie and Sammy's NeverEverLand
"Callie?" Sammy yelled out to the darkness of the night. He shivered as he walked slowly off the patio and into the damp grass. He'd never been out this way before, and frankly couldn't wait to never come back.
"Over here!"
"Where's here?! Did you grow cat eyes in five minutes, or have you always been able to see in the dark?"
"I'm by the tree, Sammy. I'm sure you can make it out."
He could. Who could miss that tree? It's tired  branches stretched out so high up that he couldn't make out an end. The roots came all the way out to the very end of the grass where the concrete patio started, possibly growing further under that.
"Okay, coming," as he followed the gigantic roots to their base, the fog started to clear. He could see Callie a little clearer now, her eyes were round and excited.
"Sammy... I think we're home."
"In the backyard?"
"No! I mean this house! This area! This family!"
"Why's that?"
"Look inside here..." she pointed to a small opening in the base of the great tree's trunk.
Sammy looked inside and couldn't believe what his near-blind eyes were seeing.
                                          ____________________________

Out of time :) Comment if you want the rest/more of the story. Hope I did it right. :)
Click here if you have no idea what this was about. :)
(Oh, and all the WoW people, feel free to comment and tell me what you think!)